We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
