Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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