you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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