just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
