He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize