you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
