I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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