Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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