No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
