She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
