i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
