Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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