I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
