i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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