tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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