we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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