He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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