i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
