He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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