why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
