I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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