i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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