The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
