My brain says no but my pants say off.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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