they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
