when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
