I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
