pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
