she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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