Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
