is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
