I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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