shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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