needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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