haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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