mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
