I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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