You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
