Don't you send me to vm
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
