my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
