Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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