Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
