How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
