I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize