so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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