She announced her abortion via fbk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
