Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.