so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?