you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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