But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
