Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
