Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
