Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
