awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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