when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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