ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
