puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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