Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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