That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
