how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
