Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
