I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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