Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize