That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
