I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
either way he was missing a nipple.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
